Are You Really Friends Outside Facebook?

When my best friend Dee lost her mom to a tragic accident few months ago, she shared her grief online via Facebook. Almost immediately after, well-meaning friends and acquaintances instantly posted condolences on her Wall. I am not surprised she had chosen to share something so personal online.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized Facebook might be the perfect venue for tragic news: it’s the fastest way to disseminate important information to the group without having to deal with painful phone calls and it eliminated the possibility that if someone were to bump into her in the supermarket, he or she might ask unknowingly about her mom and force her to replay the story over again.

I believe that a strong network of friends can be crucial in getting through a crisis and can help you be healthier in general. But could virtual friends be just as helpful as the flesh-and-blood versions? In real life, having 700 people in your circle of friends could get overwhelming, but that’s less of an issue online. When you get a promotion on your job, a celebratory lunch with your best friends will make you feel good and make for a fantastic memory. But I feel that the boost you get from the 15 Facebook friends who left encouraging comments can also make you happy and could do wonders to your self-esteem.

I have also encountered people who has explored deep into the darker crevices of social networking. What’s supposed to be a harmless online flirting between two happily married people who got connected through a friend’s friend’s friend’s friend’s friend’s friend developed into a full blown romantic affair. But the blooming relationship was not as voluntary as they seem. Fortunately, I would say, the affair ended before they could actually figure out whether they were real friends to begin with.

In conclusion? I think Facebook works best as an amplification of a "real life" social life, not a replacement—even as time and technology progress and the lines between online interactions and real-world experiences continue to blur.

If you disagree, feel free to “throw a sheep” at me.